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×Chew Toy Hearts×

[ website | MY LIFE - MY RUIN ]
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[20 Apr 2006|06:07pm]

twiggy666
this lilly breaks
like my heart has broken
each petal has wilted
dried
fallen
like the angel of emptiness
there is too many pieces of broken angel wings
and flower
and heart

<3

mjc
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[06 Nov 2005|12:08pm]

twiggy666
[ mood | okay ]

does anyone know how to delete this community?

2 comments|post comment

[01 Oct 2005|05:58pm]

twiggy666
[ mood | cold ]

1. How tall are you? – 5'3
2. Do you own a gun? – good thing i don't
3. Rehab? Counselling? – heh
4. Have you ever killed an animal? – no.
5. Are you Irish? - half
6. What do you think of hot dogs? – whoever invented them is demented.
7. What's your favourite Christmas song? – silent night
8. What is your favourite smell? – vanilla or car exhaust
9. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? - coffee
10. Do you do pushups? – yes.
11. Have you ever done ecstasy? – yes.
12. Have you ever been shot? – only with a pellet gun.
13. Have you ever been hospitalized? – Yes.
14. Do you like painkillers? – whoever invented them rocks.
15. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?- sex. ;p
16. Do you own a knife? – ofcourse.
17. Do you have A.D.D? – i don't know for certain.
18. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings? – i find it annoying.
19. Name Five Drinks You Regularly Drink – coffee, skim milk, water, orange juice, colt45.
20. What's In Your CD Player? – i donno it's stuck.
21. What's Under Your Bed? – a box of stuff.
22. Current Hair? – blonde and long.
23. What are you wearing? – an orange shirt with a monkey on it, no bra or panties/thong, but i am wearing jeans and black socks.
24. Current Worry? – deacons operation.
25. Current Love? – nicotine
26. Current Hate? – cigarettes
27. Favorite place to be? i don't think i've been there yet.
28. Least Favourite Place To Be? – work.
29. Do You Play an Instrument? – more than one.
30. Favourite Colours? – black, grey, pink, purple, white, green, blue.
31. Person(s) from your past you wish you could be with right now?– logan, laura, kate, amanda, tyson, and most of all my long lost cousin Omar.
32. Where Would You Like To Go? – Jamaica
33. Where do you want to live? – Jamaica
34. Favourite food? – mexican-vegetarian
35. Colour of most clothes you own? – black
36. Number of pillows you sleep with? – 3
37. What do you wear when you go to sleep? – depends if its cold or not.
38. What were you doing 12AM last night? – getting high with ppl fr work.
39. What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years?– working in a veterinary clinic.
40. Are you paranoid? – pretty much.
41. First piercing/tattoo? – belly button when i was 13, then my ears when i was 14, then my tongue and webbing when i was 15, lip when i was 16, labret when i was 17... and the list goes on. i took most of my piercings out though, i only wear my ears, navel, and nose piercing now.
42. Last person you yelled at? - Josh about being inconsiderate.
43. Latest crush? – richard gere? yeah sure.
44. Last thing you ate? – pizza last night.
45. If you could be a pirate, would you? – i don't think girls can be pirates, well nevermind these days anyone can be anything, so the answer is no. they are dirty and sneaky.
46. Do you have an iPod? – no.
47. When and why did you last vomit? – when misty sneezed and i saw her snot on her arm, i puked 8 times in a row.
48. What's in your pockets right now? - one guitar pick.
49. What colour are your bedroom walls? – violet
50. Last thing that made you laugh? – i don't recall.
51. Any pets now? – ofcourse. Major, GG, Chino, Herpes, Deacon, Napalm, Courtney and her babies.
52. Innie or an outtie? – Innie.
53. Do you have any piercings? – i already told you.
54. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? – i donno and i'm not worried about it.
55. Have you ever won any awards? – yup. horsemanship, archery, kayak, poetry, art.
broken/fractured a bone or gotten stitches? - not that i know of.
where is 56 and 57?
58. Who do you tell your dreams to? – anyone.
59. If you could pick one famous person to make out with who would it be? – cris angel or brody dalle... THE END

1 comment|post comment

[01 Oct 2005|12:54am]

l0st_lust
. How tall are you? – 5'4- 5'5
2. Do you own a gun? – Water.
3. Rehab? Counselling? – Counselling.
4. Have you ever killed an animal? – i was in the car with my friend tim and he hit/killed a cat... i cried for like an hour straight.
5. Are you Irish? - my mom is or something
6. What do you think of hot dogs? – score.
7. What's your favourite Christmas song? – happy holidays - *NSYNC.
8. What is your favourite smell? – Vanilla
9. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? - V8 juice
10. Do you do pushups? – no.. only faguhs do pushups *shifts eyes*
11. Have you ever done ecstasy? – *womp w0mp*
12. Have you ever been shot? – with a needle all the time lol
13. Have you ever been hospitalized? – Yes.
14. Do you like painkillers? – Yeah... i probably couldn't walk without them.
15. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? –opposite sex? ignore them?
16. Do you own a knife? – yus
17. Do you have A.D.D? – adult add.
18. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings? – fuck yes... i get off on it
19. Name Five Drinks You Regularly Drink – water pespi french-vanilla Rum juice
20. What's In Your CD Player? – The Agony Scene
21. What's Under Your Bed? – haha haha haaaa <3
22. Current Hair? – pink and black and short
23. What are you wearing? – yellow/orange/brown shorts and a sweater
24. Current Worry? – move this weekend
25. Current Love? – whats love got to do with it *sings*
26. Current Hate? – stupid blondes lol
27. Favorite place to be? -- bed<3
28. Least Favourite Place To Be? – work.
29. Do You Play an Instrument? – Uhhhh guitar.. piano... Clarnet? TROMBONE.
30. Favourite Colours? – RED... blue <3 black YELLOW
31. Person(s) from your past you wish you could be with right now? – E-bod
32. Where Would You Like To Go? – sarasota FL MO FO'
33. Where do you want to live? – Toront0h
34. Favourite food? – mmmm mexican
35. Colour of most clothes you own? – blue
36. Number of pillows you sleep with? – 5
37. What do you wear when you go to sleep? – naddah orrrrr shorts -- shirt
38. What were you doing 12AM last night? – <3 noooooothing tehhee
39. What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years? – mmm G-A&D
40. Are you paranoid? – no...
41. First piercing/tattoo? – ears 11 months old.. then nose... first tattoo Halo bear
42. Last person you yelled at? - Amanda about my party
43. Latest crush? – <333333 SHES HOT. the end.
44. Last thing you ate? – v8 juice
45. If you could be a pirate, would you? – hell fucking yes pirates ROCK
46. Do you have an iPod? – i did
47. When and why did you last vomit? – this morning.. i dunno why
48. What's in your pockets right now? - monnnnnney and my cell phone
49. What colour are your bedroom walls? – beige...white.. posters?
50. Last thing that made you laugh? – Kat<3333 she rocks
51. Any pets now? – *grumbles* snickle Molly Grey Brody and Angel(well that might be her name)<333
52. Innie or an outtie? – Innie
53. Do you have any piercings? – Yup, lip eyebrow twice... ears tregus?
54. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? – BLACK i'd get the most action ;)
55. Have you ever won any awards? – yeah for basketball and shit talent shows when iwas younger
broken/fractured a bone or gotten stitches? - i broke my arm once
. How tall are you? – 4 feet 10 .
2. Do you own a gun? – I don't.
3. Rehab? Counselling? – Nope.
4. Have you ever killed an animal? – little things like spiders or flies.
5. Are you Irish? - i dont think..
6. What do you think of hot dogs? – yummi in my tummy.
7. What's your favourite Christmas song? – i hate xmas.
8. What is your favourite smell? – hummand perfume..yummm
9. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? - milk or juice
10. Do you do pushups? – i havent in ages
11. Have you ever done ecstasy? – once
12. Have you ever been shot? – Nope.
13. Have you ever been hospitalized? – i think when i was little.
14. Do you like painkillers? – Yes, when they work.
15. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? –things to drive them crazy forthem to jump u.
16. Do you own a knife? – a couple
17. Do you have A.D.D? – Nope.
18. Do you love the pain a tattoo brings? – wouldnt know
19. Name Five Drinks You Regularly Drink – Water, Milk, juice, hot chocolate - thats all i got
20. What's In Your CD Player? – Mudvayne
21. What's Under Your Bed? – nothing.
22. Current Hair? – reddish fading,need a hair cut.
23. What are you wearing? – Manson shirt and pj p's.
24. Current Worry? – whats gonna happend with karter and i
25. Current Love? – *sigh*
26. Current Hate? – the stoopid guy that is spose to come over at 11:45 but STILL isnt here!!
27. Favorite place to be? -- graveyard
28. Least Favourite Place To Be? – work.
29. Do You Play an Instrument? – drums.
30. Favourite Colours? – Black,Blue,purple, red
31. Person(s) from your past you wish you could be with right now? –Germ i havent seen that cat in a while.
32. Where Would You Like To Go? – Australia
33. Where do you want to live? – Toronto or Australia
34. Favourite food? – chinese food
35. Colour of most clothes you own? – blacks.. or the random colors , mostly dark
36. Number of pillows you sleep with? – 2
37. What do you wear when you go to sleep? – nakid or undies with a tshirt
38. What were you doing 12AM last night? – having a talk with Karter
39. What do you think you'll be doing in 10 years? – I have no idea. hopefully a photographer
40. Are you paranoid? – sometimes
41. First piercing/tattoo? – Ears when I was a couple months old, then it was my nose at 12
42. Last person you yelled at? - Karter kinda
43. Latest crush? – N/A
44. Last thing you ate? – Beans and Toast
45. If you could be a pirate, would you? – You know it.
46. Do you have an iPod? – i did
47. When and why did you last vomit? – While ago! at karters rents i believe!
48. What's in your pockets right now? - i have no pockets
49. What colour are your bedroom walls? – beige...BORING but full of posters
50. Last thing that made you laugh? – Phil posing for me at work in the window. hes a riot
51. Any pets now? – Zoe :)
52. Innie or an outtie? – Innie
53. Do you have any piercings? – Yup, Lip, tongue, nose and ears stretched
54. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? – blue
55. Have you ever won any awards? – a few when i played softball
57. Have you ever sprained/broken/fractured a bone or gotten stitches? - my knee my ankle my wrist and i have tons of stitches
58. Who do you tell your dreams to? – if i remember them... vance
59. If you could pick one famous person to make out with who would it be? – Ahh...Hellen Storer i love her..shges my soulmate... THE END
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[25 Sep 2005|01:47pm]

twiggy666
[ mood | sore ]

i put my entry in my fucking personal journal by mistake.

when i'm sick i do things incorrectly.

wrong

way

the


i got a fraggle rock shirt.

7 comments|post comment

you can't be me i'm a ROCKSTAR [20 Sep 2005|10:46am]

l0st_lust
[ mood | sick ]

she.said.kill.me.faster


lately its been...

work
to much joj
buyerflyers
fredericton
4 hour mcdonalds w/amanda steve chrissy adam matt
5 hour phonecalls w/ brianna
16 hour sleeps
no vance at all
surgery
cars
playing the ignoring game
to sick to get out of bed
i think actually i'm drunk... no you have the flu
"you're going to get a crush on me..."
"no i won't"
-next day-
"i like you"
"i told you so *shakes head*"
good luck txt messages
t-shirt shopping
bruises everywhere
fire Mints
snickle cuddling
paying for Constintine 3 times... never watching it
visit preparations
moving - 10 days
Mini-me the stalker =|
i'm in a band... yea we kinda suck and never practise
i can play ONE song on the clarnet - a
well shes half way there cris - s
i'll buy you a welfare 250 drum kit we have an empty space in the living room
BUYERFLYER
shes.come.undone
6 little kittens crawling in my bed...
never no meowing
can you smell that?
birthdays
heartbreak and headaches
forest hills baseball games
i can't kiss you...
"walks"
ex boyfriends
cs addiction
"cris you're so bi-polar"
no i'm not i take medication to be nor-MAL.. no... for serious lol
"oppps"
"i feel like somethings missing?"
your shirt
oh...
people hacking my msn

she.said.kill.me.faster

3 comments|post comment

[17 Sep 2005|10:31pm]

l0st_lust
[ mood | cheerful ]

i'm sorry that i'm not like you
i don't regret the things i do

i'm sorry that i'm not a slut
i'm not some girl that you can fuck

i'm sorry that i'm not your type
i'm not the kind of girl you like

i'm sorry that i can't be used
i canNOT benifit .you.

i'm sorry that i'm catching on
your stupid words in trashy songs

i'm sorry that i can't be bought
you're pretty face i have forgot

i'm sorry sorry you're a whore
you're easy - sleazy thats for sure

i'm sorry i won't play for game
i'll never look at you the same

i'm sorry sorry SORRY that i hope you fucking DIE

i'm sorry that i HATE you
I'm sorry you're a CUNT
I'm sorry that you're useless
my game has just begun

i'm sorry sorry sorry sorry
sorry sorry
sorry SORRY
SORRY

god can't save you
god won't want you
god will hate you
god will taunt you

i'm sorry you'll see
you're NOTHING like ME

i'm sorry you'll find
you'll NEVER be MINE

I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
you're better off dead
I'm sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry
that your life was mislead

god can't stand you
god won't love you
god will rape you
god will FUCK you

you'll see
you'll never be me
you'll see you'll see

no one loves you
you wonder why
everyone hopes you FUCKING DIE

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i'd call you a wh0re... but even whores have some use... [17 Sep 2005|10:08pm]

l0st_lust
i like you better when your crying
you're only pretty when i'm drunk
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[16 Sep 2005|02:09am]

l0st_lust
[ mood | frustrated ]

everythings incomplete

incomplete --- everyones craving my attention
and all i want is yours

incomplete --- it hurt to hear him tell me i looked horrible
but it hurt more for her to agree

incomplete --- i have brusies on my arm and scratches on my back
it kind of makes me horny

incomplete --- i keep walking to you and expecting you to be there
but i gave you away

incomplete --- i like you
but i'm to scared to fully show it

incomplete --- she asked me to move with her
and i'm actually considering it

incomplete --- i keep picking up the phone
then realizing i can't call you

incomplete --- i try to give you what you want
and you take it then complain that its not good enough

incomplete --- i'm not sure where i'm going
i'm not sure that you care

incomplete --- i'm scared to sleep
incase i dream of you

incomplete --- i'm scared to stay awake
cause i know you're all i'll think about


every other incomplete is about a different person...
...every single person.. leaves me imcomplete...
.. you can try to figure this all out...
... but you wont... 100% garuntee...
you're as much in the dark as i am

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the girl can't help it, she was born to please [15 Sep 2005|09:16pm]

twiggy666
[ mood | distressed ]

TEN Random Things about Me:
1: I am allergic to metal. (ex: cheap jewlery.. like my mood ring i love)
2: i'm very moody
3: i gave up my dog a year and a half ago ...
4: giving my dog away is one of my hugest regrets
5: I will never give a pet away again
6: It usually takes me a few hours to fall asleep at night
7: I used to use PcP frequently
8: I haven't used PcP in a year and a half
9: I've written tons of songs... no one will ever hear
10: I get hurt pretty easily, but say nothing.

NINE Ways To Win My Heart:
1: loving animals as much as i do
2: loving yourself
3: be hot
4: go out of your way to let me know you're thinking of me
5: play guitar [anything musical]
6: don't give up on me on days i give up on myself
7: be open, loyal and motivated/successful
8: make a differnce in the world
9: respect that i'm pretty fucking different from most people

EIGHT things I want to do before I die:
1: get married
2: get some other chick to deliver my child for me through artificial insemination with my egg and my husbands sperm.
3: get both of my tattoos covered
4: have a band
5: make a cd
6: write a book
7: save lots of animals
8: be rich so i can adopt children and give them everything their real parents couldn't.

SEVEN ways to annoy me:
1: use my perfume like tara does
2: eat the last bit of my food
3: tell me i suck when you're just jealous
4: gossip about someone i like
5: use me
6: wake me up
7: make me repeat myself

SIX things I really need to get:
1: alot of money for my kittens leg surgery
2: a lot of money for scar removal
3: a fucking shitload of money for college
4: blah
5: blah
6: blah

FIVE things I'm afraid of:
1: dying
2: other people dying
3: my pets dying
4: cancer
5: failure in my goals

FOUR favorite items in my room:
1: my guitars
2: My kurt cobain portrait
3: my blanket
4: Whiffer

THREE things I do everyday:
1: urinate
2: bath or shower
3: feed my cats and rats

TWO things I want to do right now:
1: see Christina
2: get rich

ONE confession you must make:
1: I'm insane.

1 comment|post comment

[15 Sep 2005|02:15am]

l0st_lust
[ mood | sad ]

TEN Random Things about Me:
1: I am allergic to cats
2: I there are currently 6 kittens and 2 cats in my apartment
3: I fall in "like" easily... have only fallen in love once
4: I have 20 posters in my room
5: I like girls
6: I love my mother regardless of anything we've ever gone through
7: I'm terrified of commitment
8: I when i feel like crying i play guitar
9: I've written tons of songs... no one will ever hear
10: i have nightmares alot and wake up crying

NINE Ways To Win My Heart:
1: sing to me
2: be completely open
3: hold my hand
4: go out of your way to let me know you're thinking of me
5: play guitar [anything musical]
6: don't give up on me on days i give up on myself
7: inspire me to grow
8: be kind towards people around you
9: go out of your comfort zone to make me feel good

EIGHT things I want to do before I die:
1: Work for something that makes a difference
2: help someone achieve a life goal
3: buy my mother a nicer house.
4: pay off all her bills
5: get my tattoos fixed and finished
6: have my brother give me away
7: marry the love of my life
8: appreciate everything given to me

SEVEN ways to annoy me:
1: have no faith in yourself
2: talk about things you know nothing about
3: play with your toung ring all the time
4: try to hard to impress me
5: use me
6: try to define who i am, when you know nothign about me
7: inturupt me while im talking.

SIX things I really need to get:
1: a new fridge
2: a matching forks and knives
3: another couch
4: Molly & snickle Fixed
5: a new carpet
6: a new sink tap thingy

FIVE things I'm afraid of:
1: commitment
2: losing people i care about
3: falling in love with someone who doesn't care
4: never being al lthat i can be
5: not learning everything i can from everyone around me

FOUR favorite items in my room:
1: my computer
2: My pictures
3: my guitar
4: My Kitten<3

THREE things I do everyday:
1: think about you.
2: write
3: tell my mom i love her

TWO things I want to do right now:
1: see melissa
2: eat pizza.

ONE confession you must make:
1: Most days i don't know if i'm coming or going... if i'm happy or not... if i'm in "crush" mode or carefree.. but i do know that i love the person i'm becoming and love the people who surround me

2 comments|post comment

save me [10 Sep 2005|11:04pm]

l0st_lust
[ mood | confused ]

Once upon a time in the valley of death where junkies and alchys would play, out of the ruin a girl had arise, her beauty had long been astray... with slits on her legs and trace her face and bruises all over her arms, she screamed like a song bird, cracking each word, her prayer ringing like an alarm... hair was all tangled, her waist was to thin, her sent was of rain and decay, her eyes were all blood shot, her teeth were a mess and her skin was a pale yellow gray... this beauty came fourth, she held out her hand, she presented me with a small gift... a half wilted petal ,perhaps from a rose, with blood on the rim of the tip... she walked back to shadows, back into the dark, back into the place labeled home and I questioned the motive in which i had stummbled, upon her, here, all alone... I decided to follow her into the night in hopes to grasp maybe a name, but once in the nightmare the faces were hallow, the bodies- they all looked the same... walking among them the weak,living,dead, my heart-it rapidly raced... in search of a girl who was rotten and used, whos hidden among this cold place... and thats when i smelt it, the warm summer rain, the potent and distinguished incense. And there was my goddess curled up in a ball shaking and far from content... i lifted her up and carried her off running as fast as i could, i stole her from abyss and held onto her tight to shelter her from where i stood... now she lays beside me sleeping in grace and all i can smell is the rain, my angel of ruin all covered in scars where a beautiful soul is contained.

2 comments|post comment

you were wrong from the start... but i never tried to correct you [09 Sep 2005|09:56am]

l0st_lust
[ mood | apathetic ]

Happiness in a nutshell...

happiness can come free and unexpectedly... don't seek it too desperately. relax and it will appear....
i try not to waste energy on negative emotions... it's useless...WHAT I AM THINKING NOW IS CONTRIBUTING TO THE OUTCOME OF MY LIFE... So i do my best to control my negative thoughts confront them and move on...step over all the little things that make me nervous... so why am i incapable of facing up to the things that anger me sometimes... why is it so difficult to be more assertive?
yet when confronted by a serious issue i always hear myself saying "they should do something about that" when will i realized that "they" is actually me?
Being honest with others usually leaves me satisfied yet.... I'm frequently not honest with myself...
when i was younger i was so happy for no reason at all and now... the older i get the more i find myself at times pretending to be happy for a million different reasons...

half the people around me says they are so happy... but happiness is like honesty. you should always beware of those who tell you they are honest...
and the other half is stressed out because they feel they have more than they can handle... why should you get so unhappy about having too much to do? Look on every challenge as a chance to prove yourself.... and try to remember that no thing is greater than the sum of its parts.
And those who actualy ARE happy often walk, unshaken, along the path that a thousand unhappy people insist is wrong. Those unhappy people- who follow the "right" road -usually carry some reason for unhappiness with them. Just incase one can't be found along the way...

i can't understand why everyone seems to be delighted in finding the faults and weaknesses of others and pointing it out... there is nothing heroic in telling the unhappy of your delirium...
we all take these weaknesses we spot and learn from them being certain not to project them ourselves... only we seem inept and unable of realizing that happiness is not only being able to learn from others but also living in a manner others can learn from????
i try to remember to truly gain your independance you must realize that on this earth we are all dependant on each other.. and its easy to feel isolated in personal sadness. but no sorrow is new -- all mankind is linked by shared experience...


the world will not devote itsself to making me happy...
only i can do that ... and i THINK i'm doing a fairly good job.... most days


ARE YOU HAPPY to be one of somebody's problems in life???

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fuck your thoughts [08 Sep 2005|11:30pm]

l0st_lust
i made a habit of pretending i'm not thinking of you


i want to learn but you won't teach me
i try myself and fall behind
i know... there is more than what it appears to be...
so much knowledge, power, strength
i want to see it, feel it
i want to experience it... be on that level
but you won't let me
i don't know how to prove myself...
i don't know what the fxck i'm suppose to say
i can't get through...
and i'm almost scared when i do i'll be disappointed

...patience...

everyone is so predictable...
watching pattern after pattern
listening to people bitch and whine
don't complain if you aren't willing to do whatever it takes to change...

you're fucked up
heartless
stubborn
scared
you're angry
selfish
lost
unaware
.and.i.find.myself.
wishing you were mine
------------
and i'm still nothing
just like you wanted
i haven't amounted to anything
exactly like you planned
if you couldn't have me
no one could
you jealous fuck

.all my thoughts are incomplete.
.all my dreams are nightmares.
and i'll cry and cry and scream and you never even notice
.but still... all my prayers are to save your worthless soul.
1 comment|post comment

poor unfortunate soul, it's sad, but true. [03 Sep 2005|11:52am]

twiggy666
[ mood | irritated ]

once upon a time, i woke up and felt like all my dreams were reality, but they weren't, they were more like nightmares. unreal. but much more entertaining than the everyday life, of anyone. especailly a dog tied up in some hicks back yard with a tipped waterdish. it's sad really that that is something i have seen.
why don't you go adopt a pet?
and make sure you fucking neuter/spay it,
i watched a dog get "put to sleep" yesterday on tv.
he was a boxer, he was gorgeous, he was gentle, he spent his last days moping in a cold, damp, lonely, kennel.
you know maybe if the lady down the street from that animal shelter had have neutered/spayed her dog, then the proud owner of her dogs puppy would have went to the animal shelter and adopted the dog that was "put to sleep".
that dog deserved life.
but instead he never had a chance.
my cousin bred her dog. i think she's a stupid bitch now.
i don't even want to talk to her.
her dog have 4 puppies,
so there goes 4 homes.
why doesn't anyone do something about this?
i would,
but i'm not rich, or famous, or whatever you need to be to get anyones attention, maybe i should get a boob job, think people would listen to me then?
whatever it takes assholes,
whatever is takes!!!!

somethings we lose, others we just give away.

ReGrEt
PaiN
FuTuRe
FiGhT
PauSe...
who the hell am i??????
well who the hell are you??????

oxMaLiCe

7 comments|post comment

hmmm [30 Aug 2005|04:25am]

l0st_lust
[ mood | blank ]

and.i.insist.
---
don't touch me, i'm not beautiful
i fake it all with lies---
i faked the way i'd grin at you
and how i never cried
i faked the make up that i wore
the curls done in my hair
i faked the good times that i had
how i'd pretend to care
I faked the straights A's that i got
the boyfriends that i'd fuck
I faked the cheers in which i'd chant
the singing with the ruck
i faked the happy life i had
the perfect day i'd lead
I faked the feelings that i showed
except the times i'd bleed
---
but.you'll.insist.
---
I faked the way i slit my wrists
the way my body shook
i faked the liquor that i drank
and all the pills i took
I faked the vomit on the floor
the blood upon the wall
i faked the bullet in my head
the final goodbye call
i faked the way i hung myself
the dress you found me in
i faked the way my heart slowed down
dull color of my skin
i faked the pain you now have seen
how i begain to die
i faked the final breath breathed in
the sorrow in my eyes

...its funny how perceptions work...

-christina

1 comment|post comment

h0micidal wh0re [28 Aug 2005|04:13pm]

l0st_lust
[ mood | Aggressive ]

mary had a little lamb
she shot it in the head
she watched it bleed and watched it scream
and now the lamb is dead

See Mary was a Sadist
she'd cum the more the blood
the fucking slut would rape a girl
then choke her till shed numb

One day mary came to play with me
we played with guns and knives
i carved my name into her chest
and held her while she cried

Now Mary played my masochist
though it was all pretend
i beat her face into the ground
laughing as shed condesend

I Fucked mary with the lights on
I ripped her back to shreds
I fucked her till her skin turned pale
eyes rolled behind her head

I fucked Mary until my heart fell out
she crept inside me, going deep
she pinned me up against her
screaming i love you as i weeped

see Mary is my Sadist
shes the better half of me
shes homicidal, suicidal
implusive and care free

See Mary she's my soulmate
shes the only whore for me
the tricks, a bitch and confident
she's more than i could ever be

-christina

1 comment|post comment

i wish i was rich [13 Jun 2005|01:23am]

twiggy666
[ mood | worried ]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm convinced I have more than one, possibly more than two personalities.
Maybe most people do, except for idiots who are too stupid to even have one full personality.

DoN't JuDgE mE
YoU DoN'T KnOw mE
CoPy mE - I'Ve AcCePtEd iT bY nOw
TaLk aBoUt mE - I'Ve AcCePtEd iT bY NoW
LoVe mE ?
yOu DoN't KnOw hOw
ByE.

6 comments|post comment

gretel said - i know what's in your head, jumping from bed to bed, you cunthole bitch. [01 May 2005|04:38pm]

twiggy666
[ mood | frustrated ]

hello. it's a rainy afternoon in the small town of quispamsis new brunswick.
i'm at my parents house. it's extremely boring here but i'm still awkwardly happy to be here. my brother is flicking through the channels trying to find anything to watch that's more entertaining than those house repair/makeover shows that just are all the same - and therefore fucking boring. my mom has gone to sussex to try to convince my grandfather/her dad to move into one of those old folks home things. he doesn't want to, i don't blame him, but he had to have his leg amputated due to some sort of circulation problem or something and it's hard for a ninety year old man cursed to a wheel chair to live all alone. i don't know what my dad is doing. his taxes i think.
i have five cats now. it's wonderful and horrible all at the same time.
my newest edition is a little black n' white kitten i have named "deacon", he only has three feet. I feel so bad for him but he doesn't seem to care.
i've been really fucking depressed lately. i want my boyfriend to just leave. i care about him, and it would be painful getting over him, but i think he's an asshole pothead to the extreme that he doesn't go to work or pay his bills - all his money goes to weed. it's not cool. it's beyond not cool.
i am getting sick of paying his rent but my mom made a good point - if i kick him out than it will be just me and my roomate josh living in our apartment and joshs girlfriend is probably won't want us living alone together so she'll force his to leave - than i'll be all alone with expensive rent and five cats and four rats. live is so fucking stupid right now. i just wish i could shoot it and grow a new one. :)
wishful,
MaLiCe XxX

12 comments|post comment

ANYONE [11 Feb 2005|02:15pm]

twiggy666
[ mood | sick ]

halo..
.
does ANYONE , ANYONE AT ALL, know how to make web sites??
I haven't in years and do to stress, and drugs.. and time..
I forget how do work on web pages completely.
Incase you didn't notice the web page attached to this journal sux ass, and really needs ALOT of help, anyone willing... please??

LOVE YOU JAX

MALICE

3 comments|post comment

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