Christina (l0st_lust) wrote in chew_toy_hearts,
Christina
l0st_lust
chew_toy_hearts

fuck your thoughts

i made a habit of pretending i'm not thinking of you


i want to learn but you won't teach me
i try myself and fall behind
i know... there is more than what it appears to be...
so much knowledge, power, strength
i want to see it, feel it
i want to experience it... be on that level
but you won't let me
i don't know how to prove myself...
i don't know what the fxck i'm suppose to say
i can't get through...
and i'm almost scared when i do i'll be disappointed

...patience...

everyone is so predictable...
watching pattern after pattern
listening to people bitch and whine
don't complain if you aren't willing to do whatever it takes to change...

you're fucked up
heartless
stubborn
scared
you're angry
selfish
lost
unaware
.and.i.find.myself.
wishing you were mine
------------
and i'm still nothing
just like you wanted
i haven't amounted to anything
exactly like you planned
if you couldn't have me
no one could
you jealous fuck

.all my thoughts are incomplete.
.all my dreams are nightmares.
and i'll cry and cry and scream and you never even notice
.but still... all my prayers are to save your worthless soul.
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